Friday, August 11, 2006

>>>"That advice was really something!..."<<<

August 10, 2006

Lahat ng sinabi ni Rossmerck was really touching. Tama nga siya, if I had confess nung una pa lang, gagaan ang loob ko. Pero wala akong lakas nun, hindi pa ako sanay sa ganung klaseng bagay. Pero tama siya at least na-isabi mo na ang feelings mo bago siya mawala sa buhay mo. That was really worth the wait, pero the reason behind all these I that I only fear rejection. Ayoko nung itataboy na lang niya ako pag nalaman niyang I like him. Marami kasing ganyang klaseng tao kagaya ng tinutukoy ko sa "Hurt and Frustrations". Ngayon, alam ko na kung gaano kasakit ang mga ginawa kong pag-reject sa kanya nung magkakasama kami... Sa tingin ko, it is payback time now. Let just say "past is past" wala na akong magagawa. Wala rin naman akong lakas na puntahan siya dahil para saan pa? At paano kung wala na siyang feelings diba, syempre "I am DOOMED!" I'll decide na I'll just go with the flow kasi alam ko naman na someday, somehow, makakalimutan ko na siya.

"to Rossmerck"
Bezt, thanks talaga ah! You are a big help! Sana you'll stay being strong kahit mas marami pa ang bigat na dinadama ko kaysa sayo (ows?!) The BEST ka talaga! walang iwaNan ah!

[[ + Always Here ]]*|7:10 PM|

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

....Hurt and Frustrations, I can't take it anymore!....

>>Oh, how i wish, I didn't learn to fall in love with somebody if it will lead me to pain that was piercing my heart. I just can't pretend anymore that I am strong enough to carry all the pain that i am into. I am weak now, I can't take it anymore, my heart is already broken to pieces, I don't know if it will ever be back to what they are. I don't know what to do now, I feel being left alone in a dark and dusty road with no one seems to care. How many times do I have to cry just because of this stupid things, this stupid feelings?! I just can't move on, it's because I love him dearly but he doesn't even care if I will be hurt, he just go with the flow. I guess it's my bad luck for love. I guess I don't really had the chance to straight up this feelings of mine. I was so stupid, so damn stupid! I can't be the biggest PRETENDER and LIAR anymore, I am weak now, I just can't believe that it will end here. I was usually that strong girl that never gives up but now I am that damn quitter of love. My heart is broken and my brain is rotten, I can't decide anymore, I am so STUPID! He made me a complete fool! I don't care anymore! If he will continue this treatment to me! Fine! Have his way, I don't care whoever the trash that he'll pick up! My God! Magsama sila, isang basura at isang basurero! Akala niya kung sinong diyos ang sarili niya! He is nothing but a good-for-nothing person in this big world! Who cares only to break innocent sweet girls heart! Suit himself!
Anong pakialam ko? It's ok, fate have their way to broke my heart. But I don't blame him or my destiny for this things, I only blame MYSELF for falling for him.. I am an idiot and a pure fool!

>>So, I am going to vow down, that starting today, I'll keep my heart shut and silent.. I don't wanna fall in love anymore.. What for?!? To make myself the BIGGEST FOOL again?! Nonsense! I don't care about him anymore, I'll try my best to forget him, I don't want to be down and hurted again! So my advice for everyone is "Never misunderstood LOVE, some LOVE are only a DISGUISE! That bound to make people CRY!" Gotta go! See yah! *muAh*

[[ + Always Here ]]*|3:24 AM|

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